Забавни цитати на Шелдън Купър от сериала „Теория за Големия взрив“



Penny: Why don’t you go to a movie?
Sheldon Cooper: Alone?
Penny: Yeah.
Sheldon Cooper: What if I choke on my popcorn? Who will administer the Heimlich manuver?
Penny: So, don’t buy popcorn.
Sheldon Cooper: No popcorn at the movie – listen to yourself!

-.-.-.-.-.

Sheldon Cooper: You know how I can tell we’re not in the Matrix?
Leonard Hofstadter: How?
Sheldon Cooper: If we were, the food would be better.

-.-.-.-.

Penny: Has Leonard ever dated any regular women?
Sheldon Cooper: I assume you are not refering to digestive regularity. It has been my experience that asking that is highly inappropriate.

-.-.-.-.

Sheldon: I think that you have as much of a chance of having a sexual relationship with Penny as the Hubble Telescope does of discovering that in the center of every black hole there’s a little man with a flashlight searching for a circuit breaker.

-.-.-.-.

Penny: Four years I lived with him! Four years, I mean that’s like as long as high school!
Sheldon: It took you FOUR YEARS to get through high school!

-.-.-.-.

Octavia: Application?
Sheldon Cooper: I’m more of a theorist, actually.
Howard Wolowitz: She means the application in your hand.

-.-.-.-.

Mary: Honey, why did you get a loom?
Sheldon: Well, I was working with luminous fish and I thought… hey. Loom.

-.-.-.-

Penny: When one door closes another one opens
Sheldon: No it doesn’t. Not unless the two doors are connected by relays or there are motion sensors involved

-.-.-.-

Sheldon Cooper: Pardon me, I’m not good at reading facial cues, but judging from your face, you are either sad or nauseated.
Raj Koothrappali: I’m sad.
Sheldon Cooper: Darn! I had sad! Why did I hedge?

-.-.-.-.-

Sheldon Cooper: I took another look at the board, and I realized you were right.
Raj Koothrappali: So you were wrong.
Sheldon Cooper: I’m not saying that.
Raj Koothrappali: That’s the only logical inference.
Sheldon Cooper: I’m still not saying it.

-.-.-.-.-

Sheldon Cooper: Excuse me, miss.
Charlotte: Yes?
Sheldon Cooper: If I were to give you this gift basket, based on that action alone and no other data, infer and describe the hypothetical relationship that exists between us.
Charlotte: Excuse me?
Sheldon Cooper: [Gives her the basket] Here. Now, are we friends? Colleagues? Lovers? Are you my grandmother?
Charlotte: I don’t understand what you’re talking about, and you’re making me a little uncomfortable.
Howard Wolowitz: See? Sounds just like you and Penny. We’ll take it.

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